by Nicole Troccoli-Dennis (guest author) on 14 December, 2009
Nicole Troccoli-Dennis wrote the following poem in 1988, at Winlaton Detention Centre, Victoria.
Born
The petals of my roses are merely wiltering away,
Dreams forever becoming destroyed right here in my face.
Freedom flew away without a thought for me,
My confidence now my enemy.
Love is too much of a burden,
Happiness merely a verb.
Psychotic thoughts come as freely as taking a breath “Aaahhh!!!”
I thought it was all around me,
Surprise, Surprise, I found it.
Way down inside of me,
Within the deepest realms of my soul.
Yep! Rage, Hatred, Mania and compulsive anxiety,
Let me out of this cold wet cage-like existence.
Disease and scars my proof,
Rejected from day one.
Some call this survival,
I say it’s a battle never won.
Agony, fright and all things nice,
That’s what I ended up made of.
Nicole, this is tough stuff and you are telling it how it is (was). I want to encourage you not to lose confidence in your self. We can raise ourselves up again out of tragedy and violence. Many have. You are not alone, I remember feeling much the same smashing of self that you describe when I was in the laundry in SA. It can take a life-time but don’t let them win. Take back the power over your life. It is yours.–Rachael